Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Ever Been To A Really Fancy Toilet Party? - This Old Toilet 800-658-4521

(Rebecca Fishbein / Gothamist)
It's not often that one finds herself sipping white wine while perusing a collection of self-cleaning toilets. I tend to keep my alcohol far from the bathroom, unless it's coming out of me, from one end or another. But last night I marveled at a $7K Toto Neorest® 700H Dual Flush Toilet, wine glass in hand, wondering if anyone had ever burned their butt on a heated seat.
The aforementioned Wundertoilet was on display at the Toto flagship store in Flatiron; I was invited to check out the store's bespoke porcelain commodes as part of a media event, thanks, I assume, to this dazzling blog post I wrote about the Toto last year. Totos, for the uninformed, are hi-tech Japanese toilets. These babies can cost up to $10,000, but they come with all the amenities one might expect from such a luxurious bathroom appliance, like built-in bidets, air dryers, deodorizers, and automatic lids. Totos are so beloved that folks who own them eventually find regular toilets downright unpalatable—a Times story last year described how one Toto owner didn't relieve himself once on a 9-hour flight because using a plane toilet would be like "going back to the Stone Age."
A nearly lifelong toilet user myself, I couldn't wait to try a Toto out.
Tuesday's event promised cocktails and hors d'oeuvres, and when I arrived, a waiter pressed a white wine and teeny coconut shrimp bite into my hand while a DJ by the store window spun tracks. Though the media blast urged attendees to arrive early to accommodate a packed schedule, I was one of the first people there. There wasn't much to do other than walk around the showroom, which featured hi-tech sinks, showerheads, fancy bathroom displays and, of course, a range of Totos. The toilets looked very nice, but they didn't appear to be available for use:
One Toto enthusiast/employee, Chuck, offered to run through the different toilets on display. The lower-level Totos ran under $1000 and boasted hi-tech flushing systems, but weren't much different from standard toilets. But the Neorest® 700H Dual Flush Toilet, which retails for a cool $6,800, is the "top of the line in luxury," according to Chuck. "Once you get a Toto, you can't go back," he said. "I have two of them now." I told him I didn't think my landlord would spring for one in my apartment, but the air dry function seemed fun.
Once Chuck was done with his pitch, I got more wine and went back to wandering around the showroom. When my parents used to drag me and my sister to Home Depot when we were kids, we would run around the room displays pretending we were giving people tours of our home. In the Toto showroom, I found myself showing off the $372 Vivian Two Handle Widespread Bathroom Faucet to an invisible houseguest, whispering, "We were considering bronze, but the polished chrome is easier to clean!"
While attempting to take a bathroom mirror selfie in a display, I overheard another salesperson showing a $10K toilet off to a small tour group. "This toilet remembers your habits and keeps track of them," he explained. "If you regularly get up at 5:30, the toilet will have the lid up and seat warmed for you by the time you get to the bathroom." He also noted that in Japan, some Totos are able to monitor your insulin, cholesterol and blood sugar levels, based on your...deposits. He was unable to confirm whether these toilets will one day enslave us.
Party maintenance. (Rebecca Fishbein / Gothamist)
I was an hour into the toilet party now, and I regretted not bringing a date. I briefly chatted with a plumber and attempted to eat enough thumb-sized sliders to equal a cheeseburger, but it wasn't entertainment enough. Now I knew what a Toto looked like, but what did a Toto feel like? After all, I'd had a lot of wine.
In swept Chuck, my Toto savior. He pointed me to a bathroom in the back of the store, and in it, I beheld none other than a working Neorest® 700H. Sensing my presence and very full bladder, it lifted its seat. I sucked in breath and sat down.
First and foremost, that hot seat is no joke. I expected something unsettlingly warm, like how a regular just-used seat might feel, but sitting on a Toto was akin to warming one's buns by a fire. There was a panel along the wall next to the Toto where you could play with the seat temperature, as well as activate some of the special features. It turns out I don't care much for bidets, but air dryers are lovely.
HI BEAUTIFUL (Rebecca Fishbein / Gothamist)
Once I'd exhausted my time on the Toto, I got up—the toilet flushed and lowered its lid in benediction, bidding me farewell. It, and I, knew I'd never be the same.

by Rebecca Fishbein

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Are you sitting down? Solid Gold Toilet at the Guggenheim Museum "America" opens , in one of the museum’s public restrooms. - This Old Toilet 800-658-4521

It’s been an exciting few years for toilet innovations. Everyone who’s anyone is showing off their $10,000 high-tech bidets.Squatty pottys have become dinner-party talk. And now, New York has finally gotten the public restroom upgrade we deserve: a Kohler-style toilet made of solid 18-karat-gold. Designed by Italian artist Maurizio Cattelan, the fully functional toilet opens for public use at the Guggenheim Museum today. Cattelan has titled the participatory sculpture “America,” and says that he hopes people do not see it as a joke. Gothamist estimates the cost of the appliance to be somewhere between $1,474,592 and $2,527,872, and the Guggenheim staff says it will be cleaned every 15 minutes. The New York Times’ Randy Kennedy offers this review: “As a formal matter, I’ll say that the sculpture really looks its best when in use, sparkling so much it’s almost too bright to look at, especially during the flush, which may be a new postmodern sublime.” Wow.

by Erica Schwiegershausen

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Toilet Replacement Lids and Seats - A TOILET DESTROYED BY HYDRAULIC PRESS MAKES US PONDER WHY WE LOVE THESE VIDEOS - This Old Toilet 800-658-4521

For the first time ever a man completely destroyed a toilet and it made everyone happy.

This thing should write itself. Our favorite YouTube channel of needless destruction, theHydraulic Press Channel, headed to the bathroom to find inspiration (who doesn’t) and then applied a lot of pressure into ruining a toilet, a roll of toilet paper, and a soap dispenser.

Yet, instead of celebrating the only enjoyable obliteration of a porcelain throne we can think of, we suddenly find ourselves mediating on why we find these hydraulic press videos so satisfying at all. Why do they leave us feeling so relieved at the end of them? Why are they a chance tounload so much frustration and problems?

The press’ owner has crushed so many disparate items–camerastoothpastewatermelon–that it can’t be the items themselves. So it must be the two things every one of these videos have in common.
The first is the actual crushing of something. There is something innately satisfying about (safely) destroying things. It’s why kicking over your sand castle before leaving the beach is the best part of making one. It’s why everyone cheers when the Jenga tower comes down. It’s why they still make Godzilla movies. Basically we are all big kids who still get a kick out of hitting things with a mallet.
The second is the stupidity. These are inherently stupid, but in the best way possible, and there’s a huge place in the world for that kind of mindless, harmless, fun silliness. Sometimes we learn things from these videos (paper is really strong), but without fail we laugh at all of them. Crushing things with a hydraulic press doesn’t make sense, and that’s why it makes total sense. It is silly for the sake of being silly.

This is a channel that works on a very easy, satisfying level, and that’s why we love watching these videos, and why we love bringing them to you.

Plus, it was a lot of fun to make jokes about ruining a toilet.
Which video from this channel is your favorite? Tell us in the comments below.
Image: Hydraulic Press Channel

by Michael Walsh

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Toilet Replacement Lids and Seats - Hilarious moment exasperated toddler scolds her dad... for leaving the toilet seat up AGAIN - This Old Toilet 800-658-4521

 This is the hilarious moment one exasperated toddler told her dad off for one of the biggest male crimes - not putting the toilet seat down 'for the girls'.

Bossy Bradlee Rae Hayes was up to here with father Jeremiah leaving the seat up in the bathroom.
Giving him a piece of her mind, the confident three-year-old said: 'How many times do I have to tell you when you put the seat up and I tell you to put it down?

'Why do you keep doing that?'
Unsatisfied with her dad's response that she just has to put it down, Bradlee Rae continues with her commode crusade.

After putting her foot down and insisting that he put the seat down 'for the big girls', her guilty dad finally gives in to his daughter's demands. 

Jeremiah, from Bedford, Texas, USA, said: 'Bradlee Rae is always giving me an earful about the toilet seat.
'This is her down to a T, as she is always letting me know when I am slacking.


by Victoria Finan